My Adirondack Book

In the spirit of the holidays, I am contributing this only slightly holiday-themed post. Actually, I'm making good on an earlier suggestion, following the Chronicle Book Fair, which could just as easily be called Adirondack Book Fair and Other Self-Published Items. The three keys to Adirondack books: nature (as in, this is the most beautiful place on earth), the French & Indian Wars, and murder (lots of murder and mystery in these mountains...). So here it is, in keeping with the spirit of For Our Sins and Adirondack lore, it's Jesus in the Adirondacks.

Jesus Christ is a bearded and shaggy mountain man, an off-the-grid naturalist in a small community of like-minded souls. Chief among them is Peter, a geologist with a penchant for fishing. Together they must battle Herod, a big-city industrialist (Booooo!) who plans to single-handedly destroy the Adirondacks with his strip-mining operation looking for garnets (apparently the most valuable stone ever). Our hero's petition is ignored because Herod's in cahoots with Pilate, the corrupt governor and paper-pushing bureaucrat (Booooo!).

Jesus turns to good friend, Lazarus, a legal eagle who defends campgrounds, fresh air, and water rights. His efforts to get an injunction against Herod comes to a sudden end when he is (drum roll...) murdered! All eyes turn to Jesus when Pilate claims Jesus and Lazarus have been arguing. Jesus goes on the run, hiding deep in the mountains when turncoat Judas turns him over to the police. Pilate throws Jesus in jail on trumped-up charges and then washes his hands of the whole thing in Lake George. The people are disillusioned with Jesus and turn to a new environmental hero, Barabbas, who is secretly a corporate shill for Herod. When all seems lost, a paroled Jesus brings Lazarus back from the dead, where he testifies that the person who had him murdered was (drum roll...) Herod! But it's too late. The trial was just a diversion to let Herod start strip mining. A desperate Jesus races across Tupper Lake on foot to stop the bulldozers. Jesus reminds Herod that only faith and not hydraulic pumps can move mountains. He ties himself to a tree when Pilate orders him nailed to it. Before his men can act, God intervenes, breaks all the equipment and launches a torrential downpour (followed by frogs, locusts, and the ice storm of the century) because it turns out -- He loves the Adirondacks! It's His favorite spot on earth. He has a summer place in North Creek.

With his plans foiled and facing murder charges, Herod comes up with another scheme inspired by the rain -- turning the Adirondacks into a giant lake catering to tourists. But that's for the sequel -- The Ark of the Adirondacks.

Next time: A more serious, and less sacrilegious, post on writing. Thanks for reading, and Merry Christmas!